Another Rushed NFL Picks, Week 5

Sorry about the inactivity, but I was studying for the SAT. Cut me some slack here. You can punch my ticket to Oxford now.

On to the picks. Scott Van Pelt said that after Week 4, he knows less than he did at the beginning of the season, except that the Bills are terrible. Can't say I disagree.

Denver at Baltimore (-8)

The Baltimore Defense showed up last week and the offense did just enough to win against a very good Steelers team. The Broncos have a pretty pass happy offense, and I think the Ravens should be able to shut them down, leaving the Broncos struggling. Baltimore wins and covers.

Jacksonville at Buffalo (-2.5)

The Bills are the worst team in football. Jacksonville shocked the Colts last week. And yet, I think the Bills get the win. They are desperate. The Jaguars are due for a let down, and have a bad defense. Fitzpatrick is gonna LIGHT THEM UP! They'll cover, too. But really, I am terrified that they'll lose. It's a very definite possibility. And this is also very possibly the hell game, where Gus Johnson is announcing on sedatives while Chris Collinsworth is on speed.

Kansas City at Indianapolis (-7.5)

If you saw Peyton Manning's face after the Jaguars beat them on a 59 yard field goal, you knew the Colts would win next week. Indianapolis is going to try and show that they are not dead yet. The Chiefs are a feel good story, but they can't play with a really pissed off Colts team. They'll cover but the Colts win.

St. Louis at Detroit (-3)

The two worst teams the past two years, this game might become an entertaining shoot out. I like Detroit to get their first win because they have been playing teams close. Also, this would be the hell game, but I see there being a lot of scoring, a la the game with the Lions and Browns last year. Detroit wins and covers.

Atlanta (-3) at Cleveland

Atlanta scraped out a win against the 49ers last weekend, and they'll win another close one this week against a not so terrible Browns team. Atlanta wins and covers, but Cleveland keeps it within a touchdown. PEYTON HILLIS!! THE GREAT WHITE HOPE!

Tampa Bay at Cincinnati (-6.5)

Cinci is O-VER-RATED at this point, with Carson Palmer not having shown me any flashes of being "the guy" at quarterback. Tampa Bay is 3-1, with their loss coming to the tough Steelers, and their coming off a bye week. Cinci wins but Tampa covers.

Chicago at Carolina (-3)

I think the Bears win even without Jay Cutler. Sorry, Jimmy Clausen. The Panthers are pretty bad, the Bears defense should be able to shut down whatever Carolina can muster and Todd Collins can engineer just enough points, or the Bears will score on Defense or Special Teams. Bears cover and win, re energizing all the Bears fans who were shut up this week.

Green Bay (-2.5) at Washington

The Packers keep getting by without a good running game, by passing the ball and playing solid defense. I think Donovan McNabb won't be able to get much going for the Redskins and the Packers will be able to score. Packers win and cover.

NY Giants at Houston (-3)

The Giants beat up on the Bear's week offensive line last Sunday Night, but it wasn't like they dominated on the offensive end. Houston has a nice balanced offense now, and should be able to move the ball against the Giants D, providing that Matt Schaub gets protection. Houston wins and covers.

New Orleans (-7) at Arizona

Who is Max Hall? Oh, The BYU Guy!!! This undrafted rookie is making his debut. The Saints love to blitz. This is just not a good combination. I think the Saints can put it together this week against a week opponent. The Saints win and cover.

San Diego (-7) at Oakland

San Diego continues to perplex, but they are close to home and a still terrible Raiders team. So I think the Chargers win and cover. Look for Philip Rivers to have another big floaty day.

Tennessee at Dallas (-7)

7 Points!? Did we forget that Dallas has looked bad for most of the season and the Titans are a talented team? I think Tennessee covers and Dallas wins. I wouldn't be surprised if the Titans won though.

Philadelphia at San Francisco (-3)

Philadelphia is not that bad, and I think Kevin Kolb has the ability to play well (he also better, as he is starting this week for me). The 49ers are a dysfunctional team crumbling under pre season pressure. Philly covers and wins as underdogs. They're desperate too.

NY Jets (-4.5) at Minnesota

Brett Favre, penis photos on the internet and with just arrived Randy Moss, will still not play well against his old team. Minnesota lost all their steam from last year, and the Jets are playing good football (even if they use trash talk as some kind of excuse to beat up on the Bills). Jets win and cover. Don't discount Favre from having a game like the one after his Dad died, but this game will be known as the Penis Game if he plays well and Minny wins.